You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i love accidental penises.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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