She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
