he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
