I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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