i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
