I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
