then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
