It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
