yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
