Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
