Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.