also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.