her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
