Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."

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  (617): i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex." http://tfl.nu/vl6s
  Replies (24) Good night (4999) Bad night (819)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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  (518): i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you. (202): and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with http://tfl.nu/tq5v
  Replies (10) Good night (1683) Bad night (3539)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.

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  (775): Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/8nek
  Replies (11) Good night (2578) Bad night (1797)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.

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  (610): His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here. http://tfl.nu/72ey
  Replies (13) Good night (2244) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.

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  (724): Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend. http://tfl.nu/1fim
  Replies (4) Good night (3772) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.

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  (206): I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/2cd4
  Replies (4) Good night (1858) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.

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  (609): He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies. http://tfl.nu/y08j
  Replies (5) Good night (842) Bad night (1306)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.

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  (303): Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected. http://tfl.nu/v8lk
  Replies (4) Good night (949) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!

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  (503): Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered! http://tfl.nu/55g9
  Replies (8) Good night (978) Bad night (377)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.

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  (586): I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you. http://tfl.nu/2wjo
  Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk

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  (508): I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk http://tfl.nu/le2i
  Replies (1) Good night (413) Bad night (575)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.

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  (773): Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there. http://tfl.nu/z9zi
  Replies (3) Good night (486) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.

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  (360): You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it. http://tfl.nu/4bwy
  Replies (2) Good night (703) Bad night (316)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry

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  (920): This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry http://tfl.nu/0lhr
  Replies (0) Good night (264) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.

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  (773): I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned. http://tfl.nu/s84t
  Replies (1) Good night (717) Bad night (335)

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