I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
