Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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