Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
