Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize