I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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