well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
