Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
