Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
