The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
