don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
