Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
