i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
