Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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