It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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