How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
