i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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