Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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