u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
