i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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