did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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