all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
