So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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