You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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