I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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