I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?