marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again