Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
