why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.