It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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