I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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