yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
