He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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