where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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