does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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