his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
