I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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