"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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