it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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