I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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