they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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