Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
