If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
