She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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