I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
