Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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