you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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