physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize