At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
