Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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