Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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