he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
