I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
