I don't think brook has ever known best
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
